Houseplants are like teenagers: they complain about everything. Most plants love a pH between 6 and 7.5—that’s slightly acidic to neutral. If you water them with water that’s too high in pH (like from a hose that has mineral buildup), they’ll turn yellow and sulk. It’s like feeding a vegan a steak; they just can’t absorb the nutrients. One time I gave my fern tap water with high pH, and it drooped like I’d told it a sad joke. I had to apologize with distilled water for a week.
So, what does a higher pH mean? In the wild world of your tap, your tub, and your tummy, it means you’re moving into the gentle-but-slippery zone. It’s the difference between a lemon-sucking contest and a glass of milk. Next time you’re at the pool or eyeing that antacid bottle, you can chuckle knowing you’re the boss of this basic business. Just don’t pour baking soda into your coffee—please.
